Flat-Out War
by Rose Starre
Summary: Holly now decides to recruit Foaly's help on her little war with Artemis. But, what can a centaur and an elf do against the smartest mind aboveground? This is a sequel to A New Kind of Revenge.


"Foaly, I need your help," Holly said as she walked into her friend's house.

Foaly, who had opened the door, looked at his friend with interest. "What do you need?" he asked, closing the door. "Do you need a shuttle, or a place to stay, or what?"

"I'll go with 'or what'," Holly replied. "If you were to have a war, you would need a strategy, correct?"

Foaly nodded. "You could have gone to Trouble for that," he pointed out.

Holly smiled and responded, "Yes, but you are the one who wouldn't have slammed the door in my face. Besides, you can come up with strategies faster than he can."

Foaly's head bobbed up and down. "Go on," he said, now interested.

"Gladly," Holly continued, "I'm having a little bit of a problem with Artemis Fowl. We've been going back and forth with our attacks, and, if I'm to win this 'war', I'll need a plan. You'll be able to help, right?"

Foaly grinned enthusiastically. "You'll need a weapon, first," he said eagerly, rubbing his hands together and heading towards his lab.

Foaly had heard of the "tickle war" going on between Holly and Artemis; he had been dying for Holly to ask for his help. He had created some "weapons" just in case she ever thought to go to him.

Being as paranoid as he was, Foaly kept the whole operation a secret. His kids, however, had gotten to the "weapons" despite Foaly's security measures. He had gotten them back, of course; the kids had been getting rowdy with them.

Anyway, Foaly trotted into his lab with Holly close behind. "The only thing you need, I'm sure, is this," he said, whipping out what appeared to be a long-barreled Neutrino, complete with a setting dial.

"What is it?" Holly asked.

"I call it," Foaly paused for effect, "the restraint-shooter!" he said triumphantly.

"What does it do?" Holly asked, seeming intrigued by the little "weapon". She stepped a bit closer to try to read the labels around the setting dial.

"Raise your hand when you ask a question!" Foaly snapped suddenly. Holly, startled by her friend's abrupt outburst, raised her hand. Foaly took careful aim and fired, catching Holly's wrist and pinning her against the wall with an arc-shaped projectile from the "weapon".

Holly, now even more alarmed, tugged at the restraint, to no avail. She was now officially stuck. She attempted to pull her hand free with the other hand yanking at the projectile. She gave up, upon realizing there was no way to escape. "_That's_ what it does, huh?" she asked.

Foaly grinned triumphantly and said, "Yep! I've been planning to issue a model to the LEP. What do you think?"

Holly smiled at the centaur. "It's great," she said. "Now, how do I get out of this?"

Foaly trotted over and put the barrel of the restraint-shooter on the arc-projectile. He spun the dial and pulled the trigger. Instead of exploding, the arc-projectile came cleanly from the wall, seemingly stuck to the barrel.

"Magnetic power tops adhesive in this case," Foaly explained. He released the trigger and the arc-projectile fell into his hand. "See," he continued, "The ends are slathered in adhesive, which is why it stuck to the wall. It's also made of a highly magnetic metal, so it comes off the wall easily.

"Oh, and another thing," Foaly continued, "The head restraint doesn't work. I'm still working out the bugs." He spun the dial again and fired at the ground. What came out of the barrel was an unsightly, useless blob of hardened metal. There were streaks of adhesive running down the lumpy sides of the blob.

"Okay, don't use the head restraint," Holly confirmed. "Can I try?"

"Yes," Foaly said, handing her the "weapon". "Don't be discouraged if you don't…" Foaly was cut off by a sharp clicking noise. The wrist of a nearby robot was suddenly clamped to the wall.

"I don't understand," the robot beeped.

Foaly slapped his own forehead. "You aren't supposed to understand! Now, shut up!" he snapped, shutting the robot down.

"Thanks for the help, Foaly!" Holly called as she dashed off.

"Wait, what about the robot?" Foaly yelled. But Holly had already left.

Artemis was casually lounging in a chair, reading the same book he had been reading at the beginning of this "war". (If you recall, that book was The Pilgrim's Progress.) Holly was at the window, shielded, carefully taking aim. (This is hard to do while shielding, with all the vibration.)

Artemis, somehow aware of Holly's presence, stood, put his book down, and raised his hand in greeting. Holly unshielded for a second, long enough to fire the arc-projectile at Arty's wrist.

Artemis flew across the room and stuck to the wall. He put his other hand up in alarm, only to have that one stuck to the wall, as well. Holly fluttered into the room, brandishing the restraint-shooter. "Ta-da!" Holly said happily.

Clearly not happy about being stuck to the wall, Artemis scowled at Holly. "This is not very pleasant," he grunted, trying to pull himself free.

"I wasn't expecting it to be," Holly replied. She flew slowly over to him and gently brushed her fingers across his neck. Artemis twitched away, keeping a close eye on the captain.

Hovering silently in front of her target, Holly pondered her next move. Artemis's brain was also working. "How will I keep her from attacking?" Artemis thought. "Obviously, stalling her won't work. What will?"

Artemis's thoughts were cut short when Holly rapidly slid her hands over his stomach. His escape attempts were renewed as she did so, the mere movements almost driving him mad.

Holly was rather pleased with his reaction until he began to act out of pure desperation. He braced his back against the wall, just like Butler taught him. He slowly picked his feet off the ground and kicked Holly in the gut.

She flew backward and crumpled to the ground, skidding on the polished floors. Holly was motionless for a time, but soon got up and immediately pressed a hand to her abdomen.

Raising her eyes briefly, she grinned. "Well, one of us has to get hurt," she squeaked. "This _is_ war, isn't it?"

"I suppose so…" Artemis said quietly, still feeling bad over kicking Holly.

Holly launched herself off the ground. Blue sparks buzzed about her stomach for a minute, and then fizzled out. "See, mud boy? I'm fine!" She said, grinning and pulling off a loop-the-loop for him.

Artemis couldn't help but smile at her antics. Suddenly, Holly circled about and gently jabbed him in the ribs. He squirmed away and watched her carelessly drift out the window.

He stood silently for a minute, and then realized he was still stuck. "Wait!" he cried, "I'm still stuck!" But, Holly was too far away to hear him. Butler, however, was able to hear his pleas and got him out without questions. (Good old Butler…)

_I'm super excited for the next sequel. You'll see why when I get there; you'll see…_


End file.
